i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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