I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Im part way to drunk.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize