Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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