have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize