Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
