I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
