What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
