and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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