what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Randomize
