i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize