What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
