I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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