Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
