Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
