I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
