there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
