And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
she pinky promised me she was 18
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
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