He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
