Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Randomize
