she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Randomize
