Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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