i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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