So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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