I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
and you fell through a lawn chair
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
