It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
