so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I think a kid would responsible me up
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
