i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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