and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
