i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
