What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm gonna fight the coyote
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
