marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Randomize
