i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
