No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
