problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
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