They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
