My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Randomize
