I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
