I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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