those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
