I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize