Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
