"it" just moved
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
Randomize
