No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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