we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
