My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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