Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
