Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
