I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
