After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
