I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
