You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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