you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
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