is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
