I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
There are leaves in my underwear?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
