everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
