therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
