I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
4 words: hood of his car
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Randomize
