Have you finally orgasmed yet?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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