Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
